Flowers

I was told today that flowers are beautiful and they smell nice. I disagree I think they smell nauseating and are not pretty. I find the blue beast to be especially soothing to the eye and my sense of smell so keep the flowers for girls that dont know any better.

cat

I like Arya because she is the kind of friendly that is not annoying. She has a kind personality and only makes soft pleasant noises. I like her fur, as it feels soft on my fingers.

Thanks for all your help

Thanks for all your help people. I do not feel derailed lately. I feel like fog is lifting and I can remember more. I feel more happy and I am noticing things around that I have not seen before.

living in water

Today, I feel like I am walking through water. It is hard to move around and everything is irritating. Going bonkers will make me feel relief for a short while.

Feeling better

I have heard endless times that my mind and body are disconnected. I am happy to announce that I am gaining control of my arms and legs and movements in general. I do not have to announce my movements as much as I used to. I feel strong. I do not feel the need to be in bed all day. Chris says I am stronger than ninety percent of people out there. If I can do it shame on you.

joy

I am having lucid feeling of uttermost joy

Almost nothing in the world that can annoy

My thoughts are clean like alter boys

Emotions at bay they are almost coy

activity

i want to do different activities but I dont know a lot of activities that I enjoy.  this anxiety that i have is hard to make go away. this is a dilemma that i have not resolved yet.

temptation

Rides give me a glimpse to the outside world at a safety of my car. Rides are one of my most enjoyable activities. Today I could not manage the day, all I could think about was how awesome ride will be. I hope i will be able to ride tomorrow.

Squeeze Head

This is a general term used to signal my distress. Due to my limited vocab, I have to use this jargon to signal that I need a massage to try to relax. It is my internal alarm that I am not feeling regulated. I am not sure what can be done to help me however leaving me alone for a prolonged period of time may help me find my homeostasis.

vacations

Where are my vacations
They exist in most nations
Even in hell of locations
My autism is already a hell of a taxation
Now i need to fill in all these aspirations
Deal with all kinds of sensations
And awe people with my demonstrations
This almost feels like exploitation
I need me some emancipation

gloomy

My mood mirrors the gloomy weather that is outside today. I feel tired and sad. I am not motivated to move around or participate. I want to bathe in my sorrow and not move a muscle.  Spelling out is tough today. I am surprised that people around me want to keep pushing me further and further. how far can i go.

thighs

moving is awesome and i am enjoying my progress. my last years goal was thigh perfection and it has rolled over to this year.  no more i feel tired all day i feel that i have so much energy. so many people are complementing me on getting fit its nice. join me its motivating and rewarding. I can cause so much more damage now.

Expectations

Expectations they are changing

does this mean my life is changing

biologically I know that I am aging

my current lifestyle needs rearrangement

 its full time work to be constantly raging

so my mom is full on waging 

that one day I will become an angel 

                                                                          hopefully she is right

Repetition

Repetition feels good it's comfortable its familiar. I do it during the times when I feel overwhelmed or when I am not feeling good. Its soothing whether its my voice or body. Other times I start and I cant stop. There is something satisfying if I keep doing it even if I should stop.

New Year

New Year Poem

This new year what will it bring
I am tired of being an old bed spring
Will it pass by in a zing
Like a meaningless fling
Or will destiny take me under its wing
Success giving me it's engagement ring